Xmas... what a diversity of feelings among people!
Some are excited about the date, some are just ok with it and some just hate it.
I'm the one who is OK with it.
I remember that when I was a child, my parents, my little brother and I used to have a Christmas tree at home and it was really fun to decorate it with ornaments we had.
Even the difficulty on hanging the little super fragile balls on the tree's branches was fun!
But there were no gifts under the tree. We had nothing. It was just the tree and its lights. Although there were no gifts it wasn't a sad celebration. My mom used to cook different dishes (she still does it) for us.
It was just us on Christmas Eve.
I used to think how things could be if the family were bigger and there were many people sharing gifts and hugging each other.
Well, actually my dad's family is big. He has 6 siblings and all of them have their own kids. So, in theory we could have had a big party.
That was what I used to think when I was a kid.
As I started growing up, I realized that relatives aren't so kind lol. Not all, but most of them are really rude and they just pretend to like you only when it's convenient to them.
Children like gifts. I liked gifts but never got one from anyone apart from my parents (and I think their gifs were the best).
Hearing all my cousins say what they got from my grandma was painful.
Writing this text now made me realize the reason I wasn't so keen on Christmas.
But not everything is lost!!! There's something I really like about this season! I love watching Xmas movies. lol.
That being said... you may be thinking...."how come you like Xmas movies but you don't like Xmas Eve or even Xmas Day?"
Well, honestly? I don't know! ahhhahha
Maybe because I like the feeling the movies make me sense like becoming more hopeful about life and start seeing colours in my life and second chances in things I had left aside because I thought they were just useless or hopeless.
Feelings can never be put aside. They are very important to recognize special dates and celebrations that can make us comfortable with ourselves.
I'm actually having second thoughts about Christmas right now. Not saying that "WOW! I love Xmas!" but I may have changed the way I look at this date which is very special to many people in the world.
It's not because I had a crap of Xmas in my childhood that I will keep having a crap of Xmas for the rest of my life. No.. I won't allow it for myself.
If I don't change my mind about it, the crap will keep pursuing me far too long. And honestly, I think I don't want the crap anymore!
My favourite animations will keep being Scrooge and Grinch but I also love those with romantic couples.
Oh oh..... I think I've just realized that showing my feeling ins not harmful. It's OK to show them when it's real and genuine!
I guess the Christmas spirit has just hugged me and it doesn't want to let me go.
So be it! =)
It's cool and I'm actually enjoying it!
I wish you all a wonderful Christmas surrounded by your beloved ones!
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